Loyalty Doesn’t Pay; Not Even a Single Sen!

The thing is I am angry. Yes, angry. Not cheesed-off, neither dissatisfied nor unhappy. I am mad. I created this blog so that I can have an opinion. And have a freaking opinion I will

You know, I wanted this post to be a meaningful, heartfelt review of my online escapades of 2010. About how I made a humble yet determined start to create an online presence, which culminated in this site being listed on Page 1 on Google if you’d searched “Copywriter Malaysia”; for a very brief period that is. But screw that and let’s get down to business.

In my 12 years in the advertising industry, I’ve made my fair share of mistakes. And I’ve also seen many more committed by brands, marketers, agencies, advertisers and the like. And among all the mistakes; the biggest most unforgivable sin that a brand or company can make is taking their customers for granted.

And I have recently been given the middle finger by a company/brand that I’ve been loyal to for 12 years.

Ask any direct marketer worth his salt and he will tell you that once you become a customer, you should immediately be put into a Customer Relationship Management (CRM) programme. And most of the time, it doesn’t take much to keep a customer. A hello once in a while, maybe a small discount for purchase and perhaps a free gift or two; if budget permits of course.

The point is you want to keep your existing customer happy or at least contented. Just to let them know that they are valued for the business they’ve been diligently giving to you. And as long as customers know they enjoy just that little bit more than non-customers, everything should be well and good.

So for 12 years I was a happy camper with Maxis. No real issues or crisis-like situations, I simply got what I paid for. And then one day, I stumbled upon the fact that I was paying RM30 more than new customers for their broadband service. I was surprised and honestly thought that this was a small problem that their customer service will easily fix. Boy was I wrong!

Sour Lemon
Things between me and Maxis turned sour... oh lemons!

Here’s the gist of the conversation:

Me: Hello, Maxis Customer Service?

MCS: Yes sir, how may I help you?

Me: Well, I’m just wondering why I’m paying the old price of RM98 for 3GB broadband whereas new customers only pay RM68?

MCS: Well, you must be still under contract sir?

Me: No, my contract ended just last month. Correct?

MCS: Yes, sir your contract has ended.

Me: So why am I not enjoying the reduced price of RM68 for the 3GB package?

MCS: Well sir, you purchased the package for RM98, so you will have to pay that amount indefinitely.

Me: What?! Nonsense! Are you telling me that new customers can enjoy the new price but old customers still have to pay the higher price?

MCS: Yes sir.

Me: So what do I have to do to enjoy the RM68 price?

MCS: Well you have to terminate your current broadband account and return the modem. Then register again to enjoy the RM68 price.

Me: (not believing this shit!) Errr… you mean I have to cancel and register for the same thing over again?

MCS: Yes sir, that’s the only way.

Me: Errrr… (WTF!… lost for words, hang up)

If the price of a good or service goes up, I don’t see any company saying “oh, you can still pay the old, prior-to-increase price because you have a contract”. They don’t just make the new customers pay the increased price while the existing customers pay the old, under-contract price. But when the price is reduced, every effort is undertaken to make it difficult for old customers to enjoy the new reduced rates.

We don’t even have to look at this from a marketing, CRM or customer service point of view here; just see it based on freaking common sense! Some of my friends claim that I am a bit of a diva here. They say I should just go to the Maxis Centre and re-register to enjoy the reduced rates. But why the fuck should I? I don’t want to go along with the idiotic process of re-registering for the same bloddy thing because that would make me a bigger idiot.

Maxis is seriously deluded and very arrogant to think that I would succumb to their plain bullying. I think I am going to the Maxis Centre after all, but the re-registering will certainly happen someplace else. Yes, I think I’m going to take my business (Broadband + Principal Mobile Line + 2 Supplementary Lines) elsewhere because loyalty obviously doesn’t matter.

P.S. I gave Maxis close to 3 months to explain themselves, during which time I’ve been letting my RM30 a month go down the drain. After contacting their Customer Service, I recently raised the issue in their Facebook Page (with my name and account number). I have since received no acknowledgement whatsoever… not even a squeak.

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Underdogs Rock!

It’s not always about being the biggest, strongest, longest, smartest, fastest or other chest-thumping claims. Some brands – especially start ups – can and should take the humble route in their communications.

Everyone loves an underdog:

  • Rocky Balboa: an unknown prize fighter who took on the champion
  • Frodo Baggins: the least expected carrier of the One, precious ring
  • Jake Sully: the wheelchair-bound savior of the Na’vi alien race in Avatar

Or in Malaysian brand terms:

  • Perodua: introduced the diminutive Kancil and is now the No.1 automaker
  • Ramly Burger: started from a mobile kiosk and now a household name
  • MarryBrown: took on the fast food giants and now has over 200 outlets regionally

The Perodua Kancil
The pint-size, often ridiculed Kancil; paved the way for Perodua to become the nation's top automaker.

An underdog’s tone and manner is always relevant and relatable because each and every one of us have been dismissed as not worth it (or underdogged) in the past. And we always like to hear stories where the protagonist goes against the odds or does something beyond his or her means to save the day.

One good example of this is the still-classic advertising campaign for Avis Car Rental. In 1963, Avis launched a campaign declaring “We’re Only No.2, We Try Harder”. In my books, a headline can’t get any better that this: it tells the truth, it immediately promises a benefit and it puts a smile on your face.

Needless to say, the campaign knocked the then No.1 Hertz Rent-a-Car from the top spot. And even to this very day, Hertz has to live with the stigma of being one-upped by Avis. In fact, I don’t think they really recovered from the “punch” in Avis’ tagline.

However, an underdog claim not only has to tell the truth, but must also be able to act the part. You can’t be an established, top player in your business category talk about the hardships you face. It’ll be like De Beers explaining the adversities of extracting diamonds from war torn Sierra Leone. Believable? Not in a million years.

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How Malaysians Searched on Google

We Malaysians are generally a predictable lot. But the latest Zeitgeist Report – a run-down on most popular search terms – unveiled by Goggle for 2010 did spring some surprises. Apparently Proton Inspira is more popular than oh-so-creepy Justin Bieber and Rajinikanth’s Endhiran (a Tamil movie) is more popular than Leo’s Inception.

Here are other interesting tid-bits on what Malaysians searched on Google this past year:

  • There was only one Malaysian term in the Most Popular for 2010 list; which was “Malaysia”.  And why would Malaysians search for Malaysia just beats the crap out of me!
  • Where would we be without initializing everything? Think KL, CC, 7-E, BB, MC and the list goes on.  One of the fastest rising search terms was “FB”, short for Facebook.
  • Neither iPhone nor Blackberry was the fastest rising searched for mobile phones. That honour goes to HTC, which completes an admirable one-two finish. Something to think about perhaps?
  • Malaysians love their football… okay badminton can also be a sport that we favour. But the fastest rising search term in Sports was, believe it or not, “Australian Open 2010”. That’s tennis guys, freaking tennis!
  • Apparently we are also a sentimental, lovey-dovey lot. The romantic drama “Dear John” led the list for fastest rising searches for movies. It’s official… more women use Google than men in Malaysia!

The full list – plus tool to dig deeper and compare data – is viewable at Google Zeitgeist. And don’t forget to watch Zeitgeist 2010: Year in Review video too, man how time flies!

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Copy-Google-writer

With each passing year, I think copywriters are turning into writers who copy. I’ve always defended my profession claiming that what we write is original, authentic and very much involves the creative side of the brain. I’m starting not to buy into that bullshit myself any more.

You see, I’ve written for cars I never drove, products I never used, facilities I never enjoyed, places I’ve never been to, events I’ve never attended and even beers that I never drank (oh what a sin!). And how do I manage to pull enough crap out of my arse to keep clients happy? I turn to Google.

Google is increasingly becoming my ally in writing. At first, I used it as a research tool, but now even clients are saying “just Google it”. While Google is a valuable resource, it can never replace the real, tangible, tactile experience of testing, using or consuming a product that needs to be advertised.

A copy search on Google
The future of copywriting perhaps?

How am I supposed to gain that unique insight when all I do is base my thoughts on what has already been written? Would one buy a car solely based on his or her research on Google, without even bothering to test drive? I didn’t think so. How can I make a compelling argument when I have not seen or at the very least be properly briefed about the product?

If all copywriters were to research and refer on Google to form thoughts, opinions and even insights; then the ad writing profession will surely lose its appeal. Because after all, we will all become to the true sense of the words: nothing but copy writers.

Afterthought:

Yes, Goggle is indeed a blessing. It has made my job a lot easier, with the sheer abundance of data and materials. But I still believe writers should be provided with varied resources (and of course time) to develop insightful, compelling ideas.

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It’s OK to say NO

Is ‘No’ such a bad word? Very much so it seems. A ‘No’ is more often than not taken as an outright rejection, a negative response or even the mark of a lazy ass. A ‘No’ is denial of service, frowned upon in business and something you never say to your boss or clients or parents or teacher or spouse. If fact, it’s a big ‘No-no’ to say ‘No’ to pretty much anyone you come into contact with; it’s considered rude, obnoxious and self-serving. I wonder why the word even exists since it’s so disliked.

It's OK to say NO
A Yes is seriously overrated... no?

Please forgive me if you feel that I am rambling, but is it really not-so-nice to say ‘No’? Are there instances where a ‘No’ can be a good thing? There sure are:

When trying to quit

Saying ‘No’ should be an addict’s mantra. Be it a recovering alcoholic or a credit card totting shop-a-holic; saying ‘No’ keeps them clean. A ‘Yes’ in this instance could ruin lives and destroy families, to say the least.

When pressured to choose

We’ve all gone through this. A friend whom we look up to, that tries to lead us into temptation. Be it that guy who gave us our first smoke, or the dude we shared a joint with; saying a simple ‘No’ was all it needed.

When quality needs to be maintained

If saying ‘yes’ means quality has to suffer, then you might as well say ‘No’. When there is a bottleneck tensions rise, nerves fray and minds clouds. When there’s just too much to do, it is respectable to say ‘No’. You may lose a few bucks, but you gain a glowing reputation.

And how does all this relate to advertising you ask? Absolutely nothing, yes, that’s right NO-thing.

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Ad-ucation

We addies like to use quite a number of words in our day-to-day hustle and bustle. But do we know what they really mean?

If I were to ask you the definition of the word “Concept”, would you be able to answer me from the top of your head? (No Googling now, please). I bet that not many of us will be able to clearly define the word “Strategy” either, yet we are so fond of using it like a superlative. Or how about the word “Copy”? I am always amused at how the plural term for copy can become ‘copies’… alamak!

Behold the death of ad-ignorance!

So allow me to set a few things straight. Let’s get Ad-ucated!

Concept

A concept is “an abstract or general idea inferred or derived from specific instances” … what!? Okay, that’s just one of the many definitions of concepts out there. Granted, it was not a good one, but the point is there are possibly hundreds of ways to define “Concept”; be it in general or under the context of advertising. For me, a concept is an idea that engages, then inspires and finally compels action. And concepts are not just limited to creative ideas; novel execution or delivery ideas can also be regarded as concepts too. Basically, a concept is as unique as the problem it is trying to solve. So the next time you hear someone regurgitating dictionary-like definitions, permission to smack em’ granted.

Strategy

This is a simple one, due to its military origins. A strategy is a plan to WIN. It’s basically the actions taken to outdo, outwit and outperform the competition. I’ve always believed strategies are tactical and require actionable methods. Meaning, it cannot be NATO (No Action, Talk Only). For a strategy to work it has to be in the battlefield: provoking the competition, taking no prisoners and advancing market share. Strategies are also great as a holistic plan, where some battles can be lost in view of winning the war.

Copy

Like seriously people, there is no such this as “copies” or worse still “copys”… period! If there were, it would be more accurate to call me a Copieswriter for the sheer amount of copy that I write. “Copy” in terms of advertising, editorial and/or publishing is an irregular noun, which has the same singular and plural form. Which means, it’s okay to say something like “The copy for project A and B has to be summarised”.  But there’s one exception to this rule, a very important one at that. The word “copy” ideally should not be followed by one and/or a combination of the following: now, ASAP, urgent, today, revise, amend or change.

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Businesses are bad for consumers

In the 12 years of convincing (or misleading) consumers, and being a consumer myself for as long as I remember; I have learnt quite a bit. But none as important as this: businesses are bad for consumers.

Why? Because giving your money to someone who says he or she is “doing business” means you are not getting any value whatsoever.

Imagine this scenario; let’s say you are a chef who owns and runs a restaurant. If someone asks you the inevitable “what do you do?” question, what would be your answer?

a)    I run a business

b)   I am a chef

If you were someone who’s passionate about food and thinks the kitchen is your second home, then your answer would be (b). But if you stumbled into culinary school as a bleary 18-year old and then slogged to become a chef only to realise that your real passion is to become a ventriloquist, then you would answer (a).

See how answering a simple question can shed light into one’s motivations?  A business’ objective is not to serve you, but to maximise profits at the lowest cost possible. A business is only interested in your money, and will only give you goods or services in exchange. And sometimes, the good and/or services delivered may not be up to par nor fulfill your needs.

Bad Businessman
Your friendly neighbourhood business may not be so friendly afterall.

On the other hand, if you were to deal with someone who is really passionate about what he or she does, then you are not only getting value for money but also good quality and proper attention. Simply because money is not the only motivator in this person’s life and he or she is genuinely interested in giving you the best for the amount you pay. No shortcuts, no overpromises, no cutbacks and definitely no off-the-shelf solutions.

So the next time you meet someone who you know might be eyeing your pocket, ask the question. If the answer has anything to do with he or she running a business; then say thanks and steer clear. You might just save yourself some Ringgits and future heartache.

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Breaking News: No.9 in Google

In interrupt this blog to bring you a real scoop, well, in the world of Jay Krish anyway. For the first time in the relatively short history of this blog, it has managed to break into the first page of Google’s Page Results for the search term “Copywriter Malaysia”!

Jay Krish on Google's first page!
No.9 from out of 173,000 results... not bad!

Now, whether I stay there or drop into blog oblivion remains to be seen. But to think just 10 months ago I was nowhere to be found, it sure feels good! Thanks to my followers (the very few of you, you know who you are), those who stumbled on this site and those who mistook me for someone else.

Cheers!

Everybody Likes Facebook?

The “Like” button, it’s everywhere these days. From news sites to blogs and even brand sites, the World Wide Web is littered with these things. Although it feels like these little sky blue buttons have been around for ages, they were actually only launched in April… yes, April 2010!

Even Facebook itself is infested with Likes. Back in the day (barely few months ago) you could only like someone’s status update or post. Now you can even Like comments on a particular post. I’m just waiting for the day they allow us to Like a Like on a comment. Or maybe they should introduce a Double Like button. You know? Like two thumbs up.

Like it or not, the word Like has become synonymous with Facebook. Nowadays, if you happen to Like something, you have to be specific. Is it a normal Like as in you find something enjoyable or interesting? Or is it a Facebook Like, which is an oh-by-the-way, yeah-sorta, it’s-kinda-funny, I-better-click-on-something-or-people-are-gonna-think-I’m-dead type?

Everybody likes Facebook? Not quite. As at post date that is.

Even for Brand Pages, where it once was “Become a Fan” has now been replaced with Like. Do you see a problem here? Say you’re pissed about a particular brand and want to give it a good piece of your mind. But remember, you have to Like the page/brand before you post anything juicy… what irony! Or you can click on the Unlike button that appears after you’ve liked a page… in your face sucker!

So what’s the most Liked thing on Facebook? Going by all the Like-fest from Facebook within Facebook and around the web, it seems natural that Facebook is the royal Like-ness. Not quite. That honour goes to Texas Hold’em Poker and only then followed by Facebook. And check out Michael in a close third!

Now can Texas Hold Em’ keep Facebook at bay? There’s nothing like some good ol’ competition… I like!

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Kill Bill-board

Could a piece of advertising communication really kill? I am not interested in ads that have made a killing in the creative circle or anything like that. I’m thinking about ads that could really land someone in ICU or worse, 6 feet deep.

Yes, I am talking about ads that can literally kill. We all know how bad advertising can be sometimes: misleading, over-promising, irrelevant, annoying, irritating, in-your-face, and the list goes on. But those kinds of ads can be easily ignored, and wouldn’t cause more than an inconvenience.

Excuse my morbidity, but I have been fascinated by this subject matter for quite a while now. Simply because I am quite certain that the act of creating ads can be seriously injurious to health, to the extent of being fatal. Surely many of those who make ads have given their lives to the rumble and tumble of the industry, and continue to do so to this very day.

If an ad can kill the makers, it should be able to take down an audience or two. Could someone – while taking in the aesthetic beauty of an ad, made by the very people who literally give up their lives for it – actually meet their maker?

I think I have found an answer in this wonderful billboard for Wonderbra:

Errrrr... excuse me, but the full effect could be deadly.

You see, it’s a 3D billboard that depicts a very ecstatic model decked out in a Wonderbra . The thing is, if you put on a pair of 3D glasses and view the billboard, it actually accentuates the model’s boobs. I must give the guys who created this visually pleasing billboard the thumbs up… well done!

But then they go and place this billboard at a busy intersection in central London. Now, all it needs is some idiot to drive pass, clumsily trying to put on a pair of 3D glasses, and then crash into oncoming traffic. The full effect will indeed be experienced.