One, Two, Many Coupons

They’re everywhere these days; those ridiculously low-priced coupon deals for everything from sumptuous 3-course meals to ‘spa treatments’ in dodgy parts of Kepong.

Value-for-money seems to be the favoured business model for many businesses nowadays. But how long before offering products and services on-the-cheap eventually becomes bad for business?

Discounts Galore
Coupon deals are great for consumers; but not so for businesses...

Yes, we all like bargains. But if the bargain does not live up to the intended expectations, most of us would rather pay slightly more the next time – be it for better quality or improved service.

Even if you are satisfied with a particular coupon deal; would you return to the same outlet and pay ‘regular’ price for the same thing? Which – if I may remind you – can be up to 70% more?

Highly unlikely.

If you’re a business, and thinking of jumping onto the coupon deals bandwagon to attract customers, consider these:

  1. Is it worth cheapening your brand or business by offering high discounts just to attract one-time-only customers?
  2. You might get a high influx of customers in a short period of time. Can you or your staff handle a flood of customers and serve them properly?
  3. You don’t usually make a profit, especially if you offer a high discount. Sometimes you won’t even break even. Seems like a pointless exercise.
  4. Don’t expect prolonged advertising mileage by offering coupon deals. The people who use coupons are bargain-hunters who forget you as soon as you go back to normal price.
  5. The non-bargain hunter customers (the ones that you really want as customers) will see you as desperate for business. Not the kind of image you want to portray.

So instead of ‘selling out’ your business to coupon deal sites, why not invest in promotions that are easy to create and implement. You get the kind of customers you want, and get to sell at the price you want.

You know who to talk to 😉

Lose the Ego or Lose Customers

You hardly get a ‘thank you’ these days. Service with a smile? Forget about it! Being served up to expectations is as rare as a working public payphone. Yet we let companies, businesses, service providers and brands get away with it.

The truth is we have become so accustomed to shoddy service that we don’t really care anymore.

“Just give me what I want, and I’ll be out of here” we say to ourselves.

30-minute service
Damn! It never crossed my mind to do this... but my time will come. Wuahaha!

Don’t businesses know that customer service is way too important to neglect? Businesses do know it, but the people who deliver the service don’t.

A business can make its employees wear as many “Service 1st” or “I Serve with a Smile” badges for the sake of improving service levels. But if the person delivering the service is not bothered, the badge may well be another piece of office accessory, and nothing more.

Humans, by nature are proud. We want to be recognised for our efforts and every mini achievement is celebrated like a roaring success. Over time, we think we are better than the people around us.

A simple example; how many of you think you are better-than-average drivers?

My guess would be that everyone thinks he/she is a good driver than the next person. It is this kind of thinking that has killed customer service.

“I am doing my best already”

“Nobody can do it better than me”

“You think standing behind the counter is easy?”

The practice of overestimating our ability actually serves as a confidence booster. This egotistical behaviour is great for overcoming challenges or problems but only makes one look disinterested and nonchalant when delivering service.

And a customer service personnel that looks or talks like he rather be somewhere else is exactly the kind of stuff we customers hate.

So get your customer service guys or front-liners to lose the ego or get ready to lose customers.

This was a slightly long community service message brought to you by a freelance copywriter who’s pretending to represent all customers.

10 Reasons Why I Hate Astro

When just one company controls a particular market segment, it’s called a Monopoly. And nothing says monopoly better in Malaysia than cable TV operators Astro.

As a consumer and an ad-man, I like competition.

When companies compete, consumers win. Usually with cheaper prices and better value; think about the hypermarkets and how they slash prices like crazy to pull-in customers.

And we freelance copywriters, art directors and designers get more work to do when companies compete; because they then have to run aggressive promotional activities that require our services.

Asstro
Don't be an ass, Astro!

Of course with Astro, there’s no such thing. Their only competition is free-to-air TV, which might as well not exist.

I’ve been a bill-paying customer of Astro for close to 10 years, so I think I have earned the right to speak my mind. Hence the reasons why I hate Astro:

  1. I now pay double in fees for the same package I have subscribed since day one. Remember, more channels does not mean more value; I can only watch one channel at a time.
  2. Astro always cite the rising costs of programming globally when increasing their prices. Why not pass on these costs to advertisers rather than us consumers?
  3. Sometimes it feels like I am paying to watch ads. There are way too many ads for a subscription-based service.
  4. The programming is much left to be desired. Repeats after repeats of old programmes. If you’re a fan of Jamie Oliver, you know what I’m talking about.
  5. Absurd packaging of channels. Only one or two decent channels in a package. The rest is garbage. Why not let us choose the channels we want, individually?
  6. Rain, solar interruption and sometimes even when it’s just very cloudy; you get the very familiar “services currently not available” message.
  7. Even the 45-mins of watching a live football match is littered with on-screen running tickers, cross-promos and ads. My 32-inch TV is often reduced to a 21-inch!
  8. The Box Office packages are a rip-off. They often show old, B-grade movies on regular movie channels and charge a premium for decent movies.
  9. I’d probably have more luck getting an appointment with the prime minister than getting hold of someone on the other end of their customer service hotline.
  10. They say Tutor TV helps school children learn better; but in actual fact they are just turning kids into TV addicts.

Ahhhhh… it’s nice to get stuff off your chest. Now where’s the damn remote!

Sleep More, Consume Less

There’s a reason why your mum always told you not to stay up late. Because the longer you stay awake, the more money you’re going to spend by being a consumer.

Remember Citibank’s “The City Never Sleeps” tagline? It suggests that Citibank will serve its cardholders round-the-clock. But that’s not all. It also says why sleep when you can stay up and do all sorts of fun things with your credit card all night long. It made not sleeping cool, and getting into debt hip.

Sleepy Dude
Skip the RedBull and get some sleep, dude!

Even new products – like RedBull – were introduced to cash-in on the Sleep-Less phenomenon that swept across the cities of the world. Now there are probably hundreds of sleep-depriving. caffeine-loaded  drinks that are discreetly labelled as ‘energy drinks’.

The recreating, eating, shopping, partying and what-have-you till the wee hours of the morning presented businesses with a goldmine. The less we consumers sleep, the more money businesses make.

So it this just a case of businesses meeting consumer demands or is your friendly neighbourhood 24-hour mamak stall taking advantage of your insomnia?

Fine, we all could do with a midnight snack once in a while. But what about 24-hour gyms? Are people seriously pumping iron at 4 in the morning? Lately, hypermarkets have started extending their operation hours to 1am. Do we really have that urgent of a need for potato bread at that hour?

And that’s why they say “don’t sleep on it”, because if you do, then you are going to miss out of the bargain, deal or offer.

Sleeping consumers are no good because they not only can’t be sold to, but also can’t be advertised to.

But I’d rather my consumer have a good night’s sleep so that I am not selling to a groggy, sleep-deprived person with an attention span of a wasp.

So go to sleep guys and wake up refreshed to another day of buying or selling; whichever it is that you do.

Consumed by Consumerism

As an ad worker, I am a proponent of consumerism. I am supposed to embrace capitalism. The art of selling should be second nature. But sometimes – after being in the industry for so long – I wonder if I’ve gone too far.

We are a species so obsessed with consuming that we’ve forgotten to get by with just the essentials: water, food, shelter, clothes and companion. Extravagance is applauded and moderateness is frowned upon.

The divides are getting wider: rich/poor, educated/illiterate, obese/malnourished, connected/nobody and so on.

Camel Pack
Sometimes, it's okay to make fun of what you do...

The industrial revolution that started almost 200 years ago still oils the gears of society. We are devouring through natural resources much faster than it can be replenished. We’ve almost depleted fossil fuel reserves. We’re developing every bit of land for a profit.

We humans have become the virus of the earth.

As a freelance copywriter, I am only another piece of the puzzle in a society built on consumerism. Even if you are not in advertising, you are working for a business; which is selling something.  And when there are sellers there are buyers.

Admit it; nothing makes us happier that having a client or customer that buys more, and more and more.

When will this mindless consumption stop? This addiction to consuming is seemingly insatiable. We are buying ourselves to death.

I know, not the kind of stuff I should be writing about. But no harm in keeping a worldly perspective. I am after all a Libran… balance is everything. Woooosaaahhh…

Obstacle Buster

Remember the times when you read an ad and it spoke to your soul. Or browsed a website and you felt like clicking the ‘Buy Now’ button. That’s because you were convinced by a copywriter that used a secret weapon – BUSTING OBSTACLES.

What obstacle? It’s anything that would have prevented you from buying.

You see, it’s highly unlikely that an ad will create the need for someone to buy just because the copy spot-on. I mean, if you have no intention of buying a bike; you will not buy a bike no matter how awesomely compelling the copywriting is.

Road Obstacles
The road to purchase is filled with obstacles... bust em'!

This is what normally happens; you first aspire to own a particular product – let’s say an iPad – because you think it’s somehow made for you. Then you take notice of Apple’s ads and visit their website to justify a purchase decision you have already made in your head.

You think you’re doing it “for more information”, but in fact you are doing this to look for any reason to buy. And this is how it often becomes a copywriter’s job to remove as many obstacles that would prevent a prospect from buying. But how?

Don’t hide the benefits
Yes, a purchase decision has been made but there’s no harm reassuring the prospect. Don’t ever assume they already know. And even if they do know; repeating a benefit will only make them feel smarter; that “they are in the know”.

Don’t be shy with your product
Appeal to emotions by demonstrating the product in use. This paints a picture that the prospect is happily using the product in his head. People buy things to realize their aspirations and dreams; put the product there. Think how Apple advertises.

Don’t always stop short
Short copy works if you don’t have much time to convey the message, but long copy is the one that can turn a “no” into a “yes”. Websites offer the perfect opportunity to be copy intensive; start concise in landing pages, but go wild with content when users click-through.

Don’t over-expose
Resist the urge to say everything all at once. Leave that special something to be desired, because we all like to be tempted and teased. This goes against conventional wisdom, but works really well to push prospects over the tipping point.

Don’t forget the spouse
More often than not, the spouse has to be consulted before making any major purchasing decisions. Give reasons prospects can use on their partner to help close the deal. In case of the iPad, being able to read in bed without the lights on could convince your significant other to approve the purchase; because he/she can finally get some sleep.

Share

“The Consumer Is Not a Moron, She Is Your Wife”

Ladies, chill for a sec. Nobody is calling you a moron. The quote above illustrates that wives – who often shop for the whole family – are whip smart consumers. Yes, you can lower your pitchforks now.

This was one of the business advise of a certain David Ogilvy. We’ve all heard of David Ogilvy. We know his famous works. We even aspired to work for his company. But David was not only an advertising legend; he was a revered businessman too.

Ogilvy On Advertising
One of the ugliest book covers ever; but beautifully written.

Here are his advice on building and running a business, as told to a Fortune Magazine reporter some time back:

  1. Remember that Abraham Lincoln spoke of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. He left out the pursuit of profit
  2. Remember the old Scottish motto: “Be happy while you’re living, for you are a long time dead.”
  3. If you have to reduce your company’s payroll, don’t fire your people until you have cut your compensation and the compensation of your big-shot
  4. Define your corporate culture and your principles of management in writing. Don’t delegate this to a committee. Search all the parks in all your cities. You’ll find no statues of committees
  5. Stop cutting the quality of your products in search of bigger margins. The consumer always notices — and punishes you
  6. Never spend money on advertising which does not sell
  7. Bear in mind that the consumer is not a moron. She is your wife. Do not insult her intelligence

I don’t want to spoil the eloquent beauty of these points by adding any of my 10 sen opinions. But I will say this – if there’s one thing you take away from this list, it better be No.6. Kapish?

Businesses are bad for consumers

In the 12 years of convincing (or misleading) consumers, and being a consumer myself for as long as I remember; I have learnt quite a bit. But none as important as this: businesses are bad for consumers.

Why? Because giving your money to someone who says he or she is “doing business” means you are not getting any value whatsoever.

Imagine this scenario; let’s say you are a chef who owns and runs a restaurant. If someone asks you the inevitable “what do you do?” question, what would be your answer?

a)    I run a business

b)   I am a chef

If you were someone who’s passionate about food and thinks the kitchen is your second home, then your answer would be (b). But if you stumbled into culinary school as a bleary 18-year old and then slogged to become a chef only to realise that your real passion is to become a ventriloquist, then you would answer (a).

See how answering a simple question can shed light into one’s motivations?  A business’ objective is not to serve you, but to maximise profits at the lowest cost possible. A business is only interested in your money, and will only give you goods or services in exchange. And sometimes, the good and/or services delivered may not be up to par nor fulfill your needs.

Bad Businessman
Your friendly neighbourhood business may not be so friendly afterall.

On the other hand, if you were to deal with someone who is really passionate about what he or she does, then you are not only getting value for money but also good quality and proper attention. Simply because money is not the only motivator in this person’s life and he or she is genuinely interested in giving you the best for the amount you pay. No shortcuts, no overpromises, no cutbacks and definitely no off-the-shelf solutions.

So the next time you meet someone who you know might be eyeing your pocket, ask the question. If the answer has anything to do with he or she running a business; then say thanks and steer clear. You might just save yourself some Ringgits and future heartache.

Share