How do you know when you are old? When ‘chat speak’ become entries in the Oxford dictionary.
Along with other online acronyms, the ‘Heart Symbol’ is also now recognized as a… errr… word, which is the first graphical entry in the dictionary’s 127-year history. Have the dudes at Oxford finally gone bonkers after years of toiling for the advancement of the English language?
I guess my Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary is now obsolete... damn!
I understand for the need for staying current, but ‘LOL’ is a phrase for crying out loud. And the ‘Heart Symbol’ … how the heck do you even pronounce it? So the keyboard of the future may have the ‘Heart Symbol’, just like how we have ‘&’ for ‘and’.
I don’t know why I feel strongly about this. Perhaps, my years as a toe-the-grammar-line-copywriter have turned me into a traditionalist. Or maybe just the common sense that dictionaries are for freaking words.
In any case, the children of the future are going to have a tough time defining ‘Lolled’. Go figure kids!
FYI… ‘OMG’, ‘WAGS’ and ‘FYI’ (pardon the repetition) made the cut too.
Ads are probably one of the most ignored things in the world. Nop, not even the ‘No Parking’ sign in central KL is as ignored. Or the warnings on a pack of smokes. When it comes to being ignored; ads rule!
To make matters worse, an average person is bombarded with hundreds of advertising messages in a day. Don’t believe it? Think of all the billboards you pass on the way to work, the jingles you hear on the radio, the little ads you see online, the TV commercials, the subtle product placements in movies, TV shows and games; the list is virtually endless. There’s an ad pretty much wherever you look.
Ads are everywhere, but do they solve problems?
But you will be hard-pressed to remember even one of the ads you saw or heard even as recent as this morning because you have learned to ignore them. Then why are millions, if not billions spent creating and disseminating stuff people are going ignore anyway?
Probably because out of the millions of ads that don’t get noticed; a few do break through the clutter. Here’s where I would like to share the story of the Wooden Whistling Bird:
In a makeshift stall by the five-foot-way; a man was selling decorative Wooden Whistling Birds; and the hand-written sign outside the stall said – Wooden Whistling Birds $5.
The man didn’t sell much, just the odd 2 to 3 birds a day. One day the man got an idea, he quickly scribbled his thought on a piece of corrugated carton and placed it over the sign outside his stall.
That day, the man sold out all his birds. The new sign said – ANNOY THE CRAP OUT OF YOUR NEIGHBOURS FOR $5.
So how to make people notice ads? Solve their problem.
Okay, this particular neighbourhood in the story probably had lots of inconsiderate neighbours to start with. So the man recognized this and offered a way for the residents to exact revenge via his Wooden Whistling Birds – hence solving a problem – instead of his birds just being a decorative item.
In case you’re wondering; I’ve yet to find a Wooden Whistling Bird myself, as I do have asshole neighbours.
I recently got my iPhone snatched. Yup, a new one, barely a month old. I initially didn’t want to write anything on this issue because I was too pissed off. RM2,290 is a lot of money and it was one of the few nice things that I owned.
I’ve rerun all the ‘what ifs’ and told the story many times over. So all you need to know is that it got snatched from 2 guys on a motorbike who sneaked up from behind as I was talking on the phone. The execution was clean and simple; and before I realised what was happening, they were fast fading into traffic. I was not even by the side of the road, I was actually walking towards the entrance of an office building. Oh yes, it was only 10.30am in good old Malaysia.
The Apple logo is worth a lot more than you think it does...
If you own a smartphone (especially the iPhone 4); please be very, very careful. They are in hot demand with waiting lists that stretch for weeks. I paid the price for being nonchalant, for having the ‘it won’t happen to me’ mindset. I hope none of you have to experience what I went through, so here are some pointers that will help you lower your risk of being a snatch thief victim:
If you’re outdoors and have to make or answer a call, spare a few seconds looking around. People could be watching you and do not have your back to traffic, even if you are almost indoors; as in my case. Pay special attention to motorbikes.
I was especially vulnerable because I could not retaliate effectively. Weighed down by a laptop and projector that I was carrying; they knew I couldn’t give chase. Trust me, I tried.
If you wear glasses, be extra careful. As strange as it may sound, they snatched my glasses too possibly so that I could not see the registration plate of the bike. A few guys helped me look for my glasses after the incident but to no avail. Something tells me this was part of the thieves’ strategy. I must applaud them for doing ‘market research’.
Cover up that Apple logo, because it says ‘take a bite’. I made the mistake of accessorizing my iPhone with a transparent skin with the Apple logo in plain view. Once bitten, twice shy.
Stay alert. Thieves do this for a living. Imagine how good you are at your job, these guys probably are as good at theirs. They will strike when you least expect it and when you are at your weakest.
Ahhh… and how can I not put this on record?
Police Officer: Ok. You report is done. But the Investigating Officer is busy right now; he will call you in a while.
Me: But… errr… but my phone got snatched.
Police Officer: Oh yeah… errr… you got another number?
1. I spend most of my time online ( )
2. I discuss about the latest viral video with my friends ( )
3. I Keep in touch with friends via instant messaging more than on the phone ( )
4. I often have lunch/dinner in front of a PC ( )
5. I check my Facebook or e-mail the moment I wake up in the morning ( )
If you checked any two or more of the above, then you can now display your allegiance to the wired way of living by sporting internet-themed basketball shoes.
These shoes are a perfect complement to your style; which probably includes nerdy glasses, a transformers t-shirt and an unwashed for months denim. What’s more? The shoes’ built-in geo-location technology will also let your friends know about your whereabouts every step of the way. (You know I’m taking a piss right?)
In case you’re wondering… these shoes were designed by a certain Brass Monki (the name says it all ain’t it?) and not by Nike (phew!).
What’s next? Facebook underpants that come with a ‘Like’ button?
According to the Star Online report on 17 January 2011, there were over 400 crimes involving Facebook reported to the authorities in 2010. Well, it’s no surprise really when you check out the following stats:
Almost 10 million FB users in Malaysia. That’s close to 40% of the population, and growing! Where there are people, there are conmen.
18 to 24 year olds make up the majority of Malaysian FB users. Young, restless, yearn for acceptance/recognition and easily influenced.
Malaysians have among the highest number of Friends in FB, an average of 233. How many people that you’ve never met are your “Friends” ?
Most Malaysians have low privacy settings, which mean conmen can lift addresses, phone numbers and photographs.
A total average of 9 hours logged in on FB per week. How many of us spent 9 hours with any of our real friends last week?
Now, when you look at the 400 crimes figure, it seems too insignificant right? I mean 10 million users and only 400 people got conned. It makes you wonder how many crimes went unreported.
What you put on Facebook could come back to bite your arse!
From identity thefts, fraud and harassment to recruiting drug mules and gang members, Facebook is sure becoming a bit of a nuisance. For now the problems seem petty… for example:
A headmaster in Malacca was apparently looking for a homosexual partner via a FB page he never created. Haha… classic!
But things will get serious when conmen adapt to the online landscape and become more sophisticated in their methods. Like when you return home from a weekend escapade to find your house robbed just because you posted “off to Phuket, 3 days of bliss!” on Facebook.
I feel I have the best job in the world… sometimes. Most other times, I feel I’d rather use what meagre savings I have to buy a push cart and start selling a variety of nuts at a night market.
Working in advertising is a love-hate relationship. At times, it feels that I am on top of the world, looking down at number-crunching, corporate rats struggling in their long sleeves and heels under the burning sun. Most times, I feel the only real perk of working in this industry is the part where I only need to be attired jeans and t-shirts.
After 12 years; I still hear this shit!
But that’s the nature of the business isn’t it? While I may not absolutely love every moment; I can’t think of doing anything else either. And after being a copywriter for 12 years *gasp*; here are some commemorative observations, unofficial facts and anecdotes:
I often hear the words catchy, punchy or juicy and a combination thereof frequently. Until today, I have no idea what they are supposed to mean.
There is never a shortage of misguided advertising graduates thinking that this is a cool and awesome industry to work in.
The one thing that’s more irritating than clients are ex-agency people who have become clients.
Copywriters are assumed to have memorized the meaning, spelling and pronunciation of every English word in existence.
There’s often a meeting to discuss what was supposedly decided at the previous meeting.
When there are two or more creative directors in a room, the one that ‘looks’ more creative is actually the least creative.
Everyone tries very hard to pretend to be smarter or more creative than they actually are at open briefings.
Agencies make more changes on creative on the eve of presentations than on the eve of material deadlines; and then complain about how fickle clients are.
Most designers and art directors at one point of their lives had or currently have an unhealthy looking ponytail.
Account Exes are highly paid dispatch riders; at least in the early days of their careers.
You think you’ve conceived a great idea only to wake up the next morning and realize you’ve pulled more crap from your arse.
And there you have it… the Top 11, because 10 is just not enough.
When it comes to marketing, doing what everyone else is doing is a recipe for disaster. So screw what everyone else is doing if you want to stand out from all the monotonous clutter out there.
Yes, granted, sometimes copycat marketing works. But doing so will only get you a share of an existing pie but will not make you your own pie. If you’re saying what your competitors are already saying, then you are just another business saying the same old shit in the eyes of the consumer. There’s no strong reason for consumers to buy from you, and only you.
Copycat marketing is as old and battered as the Roman Colosseum
It’s quite common where something printed, that was on air or seen online is made as a basis for drafting your own communications. I mean it is okay to emulate, but never imitate. A few examples:
1. If you’re selling energy drinks: instead of saying “gives you energy” say “makes others lazy”
2. If you’re selling cars: instead of saying “travel in comfort” say “it’s like you never left home”
3. If you’re selling pizzas: instead of saying “the best-tasting pizza” say “tastes like a real pizza”
4. If you’re selling beers: instead of saying “refreshing, satisfying brew” say “never satisfying, if you stop at one”
5. If you’re selling handmade cookies: instead of saying “handmade every step of the way” say “machine-hating cookies”
Let’s face it. If you’re selling something, chances are someone else is selling pretty much the same thing too. Anything opposite of what your competitor is saying, something that evokes a little curiosity or perhaps adds on to what is already being said is good to go.
All the better if your product has that one Unique Selling Proposition (USP) that none of your competitors can’t live up to. But that’s a product issue, which goes to reiterate the fact that even the best marketing can’t sell a lousy product.
And don’t be afraid to change up when it’s not working; at least you won’t be called a failed copycat.
“I’ll quit drinking the day they sell whisky in a can!”. Nop, I didn’t say that. I just wish someone I knew had because I would want to give him or her an application for Alcoholics Anonymous.
Whisky in a can: genius or gross?
Presenting the little whisky that said I think I can. And into a can it went thanks to a Panama-based company which came up with this brilliant idea. Here are some quick facts, according to the makers:
• Outdoor drinkers would prefer to crack open a tin rather than lug a bottle. Errmmm… outdoor drinkers where art thou?
• The company retains an office in Glasgow, Scotland; but the stuff is made in Panama. Hey it’s like Apple’s “Designed in California, Assembled in China” tag… real classy!
• The can is a perfect size to be shared between 3 people who can mix it with other things like cola. Oh-my-gosh… cola! Why didn’t I think of that?
• It’s lightweight and portable and entirely recyclable. Hmmmm… that sounds strangely like the features of bottles too
• It’s going to be a part of every lifestyle and occasion. Did they lift the copy off a Keropok Udang pack? Damn!
Nothing like a vino that came from a box...
Some things are just wrong. But then again who are we to judge? Some dude out there decided to package wine in tetra packs and I don’t see too many people complaining. If this ingenuous packaging works, we could one day find the finest scotches in convenient 325ml cans.
Now I wonder if the beer boys will contemplate packaging in plastic sachets just to show they can be innovative too. But just kill me before that happens.
It’s a marketers dream but a privacy nightmare. When your e-mail address is paired with your Facebook account, your intimate data can be in the hands of marketers; and you pretty much can’t do anything about it.
Advertising is all about targeting. The more we know about you, all the better. It allows us to compose a message or communication that would be more relevant, interesting and personalised to you, which increases the chance of you taking action. As in make the call or click to buy and if it’s a really irresistible offer; run to the nearest store in your underclothes.
Facebook is a record of your life online. From general biodata and perhaps your work information to things you like and brands you prefer. If a marketer is able to access your information, he will be able to personalise a piece of communication that has a higher chance of making you pull out your wallet.
Can marketers access your Facebook data? Absolutely!
Yeah, I know... a self-explanatory, stereotype image. What to do... no budget! 😉
All someone needs to do is enter your e-mail address into a data mining program, which will then pull and store your personal Facebook data. At the very least, they will be able to access your name and see your profile picture. And if your Facebook privacy settings are not set to the highest, then even more data such as location, friends, hometown, activities and “Likes” can be retrieved.
Another way is to create dodgy or silly Facebook applications which requires you to “install” or “allow” to use. This is even worse because these apps can pull basically all your Facebook details, including the names and images of all your friends.
Your e-mail address is possibly the most precious thing you own thanks to Facebook. Online marketers as it is are fighting tooth and nail to gather as much e-mail addresses as possible for blind e-mail blasting. And now they have the power of pairing e-mail addresses with Facebook data to gain deeper consumer insights.
There will come a time when marketers may know exactly who you are, where you live, what you do, what you like, what you drive and possibly even what you just had for dinner. And the more of yourself you put online, the happier unscrupulous marketers get.
So safeguard your e-mail with your life and never go into specifics while on Facebook. It’s just not worth it.
P.S. Even more disturbingly, more and more Malaysians are falling prey to cyber scams thanks to Facebook. This is something I will look into in my future post; just need a bit more data. Stay tuned.
I did it. Yes sir I terminated it. I maxed out my relationship with Maxis and am now a follower of the yellow man. But something unexpected happened at the Maxis centre today.
I was ready for a tedious, long and unpleasant process of terminating my broadband account. In fact, I was just waiting to be ticked off by someone so I could vent my anger and give them a piece of my mind in eloquent ‘French’. I walked into the Maxis centre ready for war almost. Hoping, just hoping, they would make the mistake of asking me:
Why are you terminating your account sir?
"Ghette hout, ghette hout... you ahff bheen ther-minh-nah-ted"
But it did not come to be. Instead, I was treated better at Maxis centre today than I ever was as a customer. I did not need to take a number nor stand in line nor be subject to any scrutiny. I kid you not. There were like at least 20 or so people who were waiting, but I was ushered straight to an empty counter as if I was a VIP.
I was out of there in roughly five minutes! I got out so fast, that some of the waiting customers gave me dagger like looks for somehow obtaining special treatment. It felt as if Maxis were gleefully processing termination of accounts because they had way too many customers.
Actually, I am glad for the pleasant experience I had at the Maxis centre. It was surely a refreshing change than when I had to wait for more than an hour to apply for supplementary lines.
But something’s not right you know. Shouldn’t they treat customers the way they treated me today? Hey… I’m not complaining. What’s done is done. It’s just strange that my best experience with Maxis is when I went to terminate my account. Unbelievable!
