The more choices you have, the more you can’t decide

This is it. I found the freaking jackpot. Experiments that confirm what I have believed all along. All those times clients picked apart creative options and tried to make them into 1 rojak creative, now I know why!

Because they couldn’t decide which creative option to choose.

Rojak means mixed up!
Quick! Don't think, just choose a rojak...

In advertising, giving clients design or copy options is the norm. It shows that the agency takes the initiative to provide choices, and that we’re not a bunch of lazy arses force-feeding one single idea to the client.

But it turns out, providing too many options, actually makes the client decision much harder to make. Consider these studies conducted, excerpted from Chip and Dan Heath’s book Switch!

Study 1: at a Gourmet food store

On a sampling table, 6 different jams are on showcase for free tasting by customers. The next day, 24 types of jams were on display. As expected, the 24-jam display attracted more customers. But when it came time to buy; shoppers who saw only 6 jams were 10 time more likely to buy.

Study 2: on a speed-dating night

Singles meet one-on-one, spending about 5 minutes with each person. The result? Young adults who meet eight other singles make more matches that those who meet twenty!

This is called Decision Paralysis where too many choices make making a decision much harder than usual. I guess the key words here is ‘too many’, we can’t help but weigh in all the options presented to us. One or two options (at most) are still fine I’m sure.

Well now we know what “Less Is More” really means. While people like having choices, they hate weighing those options to make a decision, probably for fear of making the wrong choice.

So think about all those times that you found it hard to make a choice. Were there too many options?

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“The Consumer Is Not a Moron, She Is Your Wife”

Ladies, chill for a sec. Nobody is calling you a moron. The quote above illustrates that wives – who often shop for the whole family – are whip smart consumers. Yes, you can lower your pitchforks now.

This was one of the business advise of a certain David Ogilvy. We’ve all heard of David Ogilvy. We know his famous works. We even aspired to work for his company. But David was not only an advertising legend; he was a revered businessman too.

Ogilvy On Advertising
One of the ugliest book covers ever; but beautifully written.

Here are his advice on building and running a business, as told to a Fortune Magazine reporter some time back:

  1. Remember that Abraham Lincoln spoke of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. He left out the pursuit of profit
  2. Remember the old Scottish motto: “Be happy while you’re living, for you are a long time dead.”
  3. If you have to reduce your company’s payroll, don’t fire your people until you have cut your compensation and the compensation of your big-shot
  4. Define your corporate culture and your principles of management in writing. Don’t delegate this to a committee. Search all the parks in all your cities. You’ll find no statues of committees
  5. Stop cutting the quality of your products in search of bigger margins. The consumer always notices — and punishes you
  6. Never spend money on advertising which does not sell
  7. Bear in mind that the consumer is not a moron. She is your wife. Do not insult her intelligence

I don’t want to spoil the eloquent beauty of these points by adding any of my 10 sen opinions. But I will say this – if there’s one thing you take away from this list, it better be No.6. Kapish?

‘LOL’ is now a Word… Officially!

How do you know when you are old? When ‘chat speak’ become entries in the Oxford dictionary.

Along with other online acronyms, the ‘Heart Symbol’ is also now recognized as a… errr… word, which is the first graphical entry in the dictionary’s 127-year history. Have the dudes at Oxford finally gone bonkers after years of toiling for the advancement of the English language?

Obsolote Oxford
I guess my Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary is now obsolete... damn!

I understand for the need for staying current, but ‘LOL’ is a phrase for crying out loud. And the ‘Heart Symbol’ … how the heck do you even pronounce it? So the keyboard of the future may have the ‘Heart Symbol’, just like how we have ‘&’ for ‘and’.

I don’t know why I feel strongly about this. Perhaps, my years as a toe-the-grammar-line-copywriter have turned me into a traditionalist. Or maybe just the common sense that dictionaries are for freaking words.

In any case, the children of the future are going to have a tough time defining ‘Lolled’. Go figure kids!

FYI… ‘OMG’, ‘WAGS’ and ‘FYI’ (pardon the repetition) made the cut too.

♥

The Wooden Whistling Bird

Ads are probably one of the most ignored things in the world. Nop, not even the ‘No Parking’ sign in central KL is as ignored. Or the warnings on a pack of smokes. When it comes to being ignored; ads rule!

To make matters worse, an average person is bombarded with hundreds of advertising messages in a day. Don’t believe it? Think of all the billboards you pass on the way to work, the jingles you hear on the radio, the little ads you see online, the TV commercials, the subtle product placements in movies, TV shows and games; the list is virtually endless. There’s an ad pretty much wherever you look.

Ad Clutter
Ads are everywhere, but do they solve problems?

But you will be hard-pressed to remember even one of the ads you saw or heard even as recent as this morning because you have learned to ignore them. Then why are millions, if not billions spent creating and disseminating stuff people are going ignore anyway?

Probably because out of the millions of ads that don’t get noticed; a few do break through the clutter. Here’s where I would like to share the story of the Wooden Whistling Bird:

In a makeshift stall by the five-foot-way; a man was selling decorative Wooden Whistling Birds; and the hand-written sign outside the stall said – Wooden Whistling Birds $5.

The man didn’t sell much, just the odd 2 to 3 birds a day. One day the man got an idea, he quickly scribbled his thought on a piece of corrugated carton and placed it over the sign outside his stall.

That day, the man sold out all his birds. The new sign said – ANNOY THE CRAP OUT OF YOUR NEIGHBOURS FOR $5.

So how to make people notice ads? Solve their problem.

Okay, this particular neighbourhood in the story probably had lots of inconsiderate neighbours to start with. So the man recognized this and offered a way for the residents to exact revenge via his Wooden Whistling Birds – hence solving a problem – instead of his birds just being a decorative item.

In case you’re wondering; I’ve yet to find a Wooden Whistling Bird myself, as I do have asshole neighbours.

Case of the iPhone Snatching

I recently got my iPhone snatched. Yup, a new one, barely a month old. I initially didn’t want to write anything on this issue because I was too pissed off. RM2,290 is a lot of money and it was one of the few nice things that I owned.

I’ve rerun all the ‘what ifs’ and told the story many times over. So all you need to know is that it got snatched from 2 guys on a motorbike who sneaked up from behind as I was talking on the phone. The execution was clean and simple; and before I realised what was happening, they were fast fading into traffic. I was not even by the side of the road, I was actually walking towards the entrance of an office building. Oh yes, it was only 10.30am in good old Malaysia.

iphone 4 rear
The Apple logo is worth a lot more than you think it does...

If you own a smartphone (especially the iPhone 4); please be very, very careful. They are in hot demand with waiting lists that stretch for weeks. I paid the price for being nonchalant, for having the ‘it won’t happen to me’ mindset. I hope none of you have to experience what I went through, so here are some pointers that will help you lower your risk of being a snatch thief victim:

  1. If you’re outdoors and have to make or answer a call, spare a few seconds looking around. People could be watching you and do not have your back to traffic, even if you are almost indoors; as in my case. Pay special attention to motorbikes.
  2. I was especially vulnerable because I could not retaliate effectively. Weighed down by a laptop and projector that I was carrying; they knew I couldn’t give chase. Trust me, I tried.
  3. If you wear glasses, be extra careful. As strange as it may sound, they snatched my glasses too possibly so that I could not see the registration plate of the bike. A few guys helped me look for my glasses after the incident but to no avail. Something tells me this was part of the thieves’ strategy. I must applaud them for doing ‘market research’.
  4. Cover up that Apple logo, because it says ‘take a bite’. I made the mistake of accessorizing my iPhone with a transparent skin with the Apple logo in plain view. Once bitten, twice shy.
  5. Stay alert. Thieves do this for a living. Imagine how good you are at your job, these guys probably are as good at theirs. They will strike when you least expect it and when you are at your weakest.

Ahhh… and how can I not put this on record?

Police Officer: Ok. You report is done. But the Investigating Officer is busy right now; he will call you in a while.

Me: But… errr… but my phone got snatched.

Police Officer: Oh yeah… errr… you got another number?

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Kicks for Geeks?

Check if applies:

1. I spend most of my time online (   )
2. I discuss about the latest viral video with my friends (  )
3. I Keep in touch with friends via instant messaging more than on the phone (  )
4. I often have lunch/dinner in front of a PC (   )
5. I check my Facebook or e-mail the moment I wake up in the morning (   )

If you checked any two or more of the above, then you can now display your allegiance to the wired way of living by sporting internet-themed basketball shoes.

These shoes are a perfect complement to your style; which probably includes nerdy glasses, a transformers t-shirt and an unwashed for months denim. What’s more? The shoes’ built-in geo-location technology will also let your friends know about your whereabouts every step of the way. (You know I’m taking a piss right?)

In case you’re wondering… these shoes were designed by a certain Brass Monki (the name says it all ain’t it?) and not by Nike (phew!).

What’s next? Facebook underpants that come with a ‘Like’ button?

I’m going to log-off and have a life right now.

Got Facebook? Get Robbed!

According to the Star Online report on 17 January 2011, there were over 400 crimes involving Facebook reported to the authorities in 2010. Well, it’s no surprise really when you check out the following stats:

  1. Almost 10 million FB users in Malaysia. That’s close to 40% of the population, and growing! Where there are people, there are conmen.
  2. 18 to 24 year olds make up the majority of Malaysian FB users. Young, restless, yearn for acceptance/recognition and easily influenced.
  3. Malaysians have among the highest number of Friends in FB, an average of 233. How many people that you’ve never met are your “Friends” ?
  4. Most Malaysians have low privacy settings, which mean conmen can lift addresses, phone numbers and photographs.
  5. A total average of 9 hours logged in on FB per week. How many of us spent 9 hours with any of our real friends last week?

Now, when you look at the 400 crimes figure, it seems too insignificant right? I mean 10 million users and only 400 people got conned. It makes you wonder how many crimes went unreported.

Dangerous Key
What you put on Facebook could come back to bite your arse!

From identity thefts, fraud and harassment to recruiting drug mules and gang members, Facebook is sure becoming a bit of a nuisance. For now the problems seem petty… for example:

A headmaster in Malacca was apparently looking for a homosexual partner via a FB page he never created. Haha… classic!

But things will get serious when conmen adapt to the online landscape and become more sophisticated in their methods. Like when you return home from a weekend escapade to find your house robbed just because you posted “off to Phuket, 3 days of bliss!” on Facebook.

Not so funny now isn’t it?

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When In Rome, Screw The Romans

When it comes to marketing, doing what everyone else is doing is a recipe for disaster. So screw what everyone else is doing if you want to stand out from all the monotonous clutter out there.

Yes, granted, sometimes copycat marketing works. But doing so will only get you a share of an existing pie but will not make you your own pie. If you’re saying what your competitors are already saying, then you are just another business saying the same old shit in the eyes of the consumer.  There’s no strong reason for consumers to buy from you, and only you.

The Colloseum Still Stands
Copycat marketing is as old and battered as the Roman Colosseum

It’s quite common where something printed, that was on air or seen online is made as a basis for drafting your own communications. I mean it is okay to emulate, but never imitate. A few examples:

1. If you’re selling energy drinks: instead of saying “gives you energy” say “makes others lazy”

2. If you’re selling cars: instead of saying “travel in comfort” say “it’s like you never left home”

3. If you’re selling pizzas: instead of saying “the best-tasting pizza” say “tastes like a real pizza”

4. If you’re selling beers: instead  of saying “refreshing, satisfying brew” say “never satisfying, if you stop at one”

5. If you’re selling handmade cookies: instead of saying “handmade every step of the way” say “machine-hating cookies”

Let’s face it. If you’re selling something, chances are someone else is selling pretty much the same thing too. Anything opposite of what your competitor is saying, something that evokes a little curiosity or perhaps adds on to what is already being said is good to go.

All the better if your product has that one Unique Selling Proposition (USP) that none of your competitors can’t live up to. But that’s a product issue, which goes to reiterate the fact that even the best marketing can’t sell a lousy product.

And don’t be afraid to change up when it’s not working; at least you won’t be called a failed copycat.

I think I Can

“I’ll quit drinking the day they sell whisky in a can!”. Nop, I didn’t say that. I just wish someone I knew had because I would want to give him or her an application for Alcoholics Anonymous.

Whisky in a can: genius or gross?

Presenting the little whisky that said I think I can. And into a can it went thanks to a Panama-based company which came up with this brilliant idea. Here are some quick facts, according to the makers:

• Outdoor drinkers would prefer to crack open a tin rather than lug a bottle. Errmmm… outdoor drinkers where art thou?

• The company retains an office in Glasgow, Scotland; but the stuff is made in Panama. Hey it’s like Apple’s “Designed in California, Assembled in China” tag… real classy!

• The can is a perfect size to be shared between 3 people who can mix it with other things like cola. Oh-my-gosh… cola! Why didn’t I think of that?

• It’s lightweight and portable and entirely recyclable. Hmmmm… that sounds strangely like the features of bottles too

• It’s going to be a part of every lifestyle and occasion. Did they lift the copy off a Keropok Udang pack? Damn!

Nothing like a vino that came from a box...

Some things are just wrong. But then again who are we to judge? Some dude out there decided to package wine in tetra packs and I don’t see too many people complaining. If this ingenuous packaging works, we could one day find the finest scotches in convenient 325ml cans.

Now I wonder if the beer boys will contemplate packaging in plastic sachets just to show they can be innovative too. But just kill me before that happens.

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