It’s Not My Job

Have you ever seen something that was not right, and knew you could make it right, but made no attempt because it was not your job? I know I have, and I’m not proud of it.

In an ideal situation, everyone should have everyone else’s backs in an agency, especially in the studio. This is of course easier said than done in an environment with looming deadlines and unforgiving hours. But if you spot something that’s out of place or just wrong – be it in copy, design or common sense – then it becomes your duty to raise the flag.

Yes, even when it’s not your job.  Here’s an example of what can happen if you don’t:

I recently browsed the new Malaysia Tourism website, which was easy on the eyes, well-constructed and a breeze to navigate. Then I clicked on About Malaysia and everything seemed fine until I found an external link to a Malaysian government portal. I clicked on this link that promised ‘more information’ and landed on…

I was like what the 4uck?! This looks like website from the 90s that has obviously been designed put together by nitwits. What kind of impression will this site leave on a prospective tourist? And since the site was in Bahasa Malaysia by default, I looked to see if I could at least change that. So I located the language option drop down menu and clicked on it to realise that there was no other language option besides Bahasa Malaysia. Genius!

I’m sure someone noticed this glaring stupidity and decided it was not his job to mention it. This Malaysian Government portal does not serve any purpose to prospective tourists, especially it being in a language that only Malaysians can read.

The solution is as easy as unlinking the site from the Malaysia Tourism portal. Unless, it is not possible to unlink because it is an executive decision to have the link.

In that case, there’s only one thing to say… Welcome to Malaysia!

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Top Half!

My first post on this blog was on the 3rd of January 2010. I didn’t really have an objective for starting this blog, except to vent my frustrations and have somewhat an online presence.

Along the way I renewed my primary objective; which was to move up the Google page results ranking.After much trial and error, hits and misses, and 562 days; here’s where I am…

Yup, I made it to the Top Half (or position 5) for the keywords “Copywriter + Malaysia”. I did make Page 1 some time ago; but breaking the Top Half proved a challenge. It does feel good now that I’m here.

But we all know Google rankings are unstable; which was why I wanted to capture the moment before I get sent back down to reality.

Hmmm… maybe it’s time to renew my objective once again. Top spot perhaps? Watch out Tim Yang… I’m coming for you!

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Don’t Call Customer Service If You Want to Be Served

“Thank you for calling. Your business is important to us. For English Press 1. For Bahasa Malaysia Press 2. For Mandarin Press 3. For Tamil Press 4. For Punjabi Press 5. If you still can’t get it that we don’t give a rat’s ass about you, Press 6”

What happened to the good old days when an actual person picked up your call? Yes it makes business sense to have an Automated Voice Response System. And yes I am aware that this rant is roughly 15 years late. But still, it is a rant worth making.

Businesses spend millions on compelling, evocative brand building advertising that promises the world; and then fall flat on their face when it comes to over-the-phone customer service.

Dummy Customer Service
Yup, it might as well be a dummy

Imagine calling your credit card company, and after going through like 3 levels of menu options it is revealed that all the customer service personnel are busy and will attend to you shortly. Oh yeah… and I also want you to imagine you just got mugged and calling to report your card is lost.

Now you know why there’s stuff like road rage and perhaps even suicide.

Outsourcing of call centres could probably be blamed for this deterioration of service. Let’s say you found a goose that lays golden eggs. Would you ask your neighbour to take care of it? The answer would be a vehement no.

But businesses have no qualms asking a third party to handle the queries, concerns or complains of customers. Aren’t we – the customers – supposed to be golden egg-laying geese? Apparently not.

That’s why, if you notice, many brands are substituting phone numbers with web URLs in their advertising. They don’t really want to hear from you.

I say screw it. Call and bug the hell out of them… if you can get someone on the other end that is.

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Selling is Everything

Most people think I go to work, write a few headlines and then scoot off to lunch only never to return until the next day. Come to think of it that would be nice; but we all know it doesn’t work that way.

So what it is that I do? I Sell.

Selling
If you don't sell, you don't get paid

But I’ve come to realise that I do not only sell products to consumers; but also sell advertising to clients. So to be able to sell, I need to be able to sell the idea to the client first before being given the go-ahead to sell products to the end consumer.

Sounds confusing? But here’s the kicker.

Before I can even think about selling anything, I first must sell the idea about selling an idea to a client to sell a product to a consumer to my partners first. And I haven’t even written a single line of copy yet.

So with all this selling going on, you tell me… Isn’t advertising fundamentally about selling? Or rather shouldn’t it be all about selling?

Every CEO thinks about how much money he is making as opposed to how wonderful his company’s advertising is, which may be the reason why you see lots of crappy (but often effective) ads out there.

So is there a way to balance a strong sales-driven message with compelling creative? Last I checked, it was called Direct Marketing.

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I Suck

Mmmm Lollipop
Admit it! At one time, you sucked too 😉

Yeah, I suck at over-the-top advertising. I suck at making deceiving claims. I also suck at conjuring mindless superlatives just to make my copy ‘catchy’. Heck, I even suck at advertising that decorate rather than communicate.

I suck at many things because I can’t – no matter how hard I try – know it all.

I believe advertising should be about sending right message to the right audience in the right time and hopefully with the right offer to compel a desired action.

It’s nice to be reminded about what we are really supposed to do.
Just disregard the intro music; David Ogilvy was not a king.

Because truth be told, no one gives a shit about award-winning creatives or kick-ass art direction or genius copy except for those in the ad industry.

Everyone else is just concerned about getting the best value at the lowest cost in the most convenient way possible, and I am referring to both clients and consumers here.

Advertising should be more accountable, where money spent can be justified, and less about strategic mumbo jumbo and pointless creative masturbation.

With ROI becoming more and more important to clients, creative work – or anything that happens within an advertising agency – must strive to bring more bang to clients’ ADEX.

Anything less is just not acceptable; at least for me that is. This renewed enthusiasm for advertising that sells is borne from years of watching clients spend money in big idea yet low effectiveness advertising.

In the words of the great David Ogilvy, when asked about advise on running a business:

“Never spend money on advertising which does not sell”

That’s good advise isn’t it?

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Why It Cost 1.8 Million for 6 Facebook Pages

Here are the real secrets why the agency that developed the Facebook pages charged such a ridiculous amount…

  1. Because the client only opens 1 counter during peak hours
  2. Because the client went for coffee at 10.45am, then lunch at 1pm and the tea at 3.45pm
  3. Because they had to complete Borang FB/003/11, Borang FB/112/14A and submit along with photocopies of their IC, Audited Accounts and Birth Certificate
  4. Because the system was downlah!
  5. Because the Person in Charge Cuti Bersalin
Why 1.8 Mil?
The question is why they like to throw our money down the drain?

6.   Because the Nombor Giliran for today has finished
7.   Because this issue can only settle in Putrajaya
8.   Because the approval process takes at least 2 to 4 weeks
9.   Because someone wore a short-sleeve blouse

And the top reason why it cost 1.8 million for 6 Facebook pages *Drumroll*

10. Because each e-mail sent and received cost the agency 50 sen

If I had to go through all of the above, I’d freaking charge 2 million… per page! But for my dear readers, I’ll do it for RM59.95… interested?

Evolve or Die

Remember the time when you knew at least a couple of bootleg DVD sellers in your neigbourhood and thought you were getting a bargain?

Remember the time when the trendiest of us used to wear our mobile phones around our necks?

Remember the time when compact discs were supposed to make our lives easier for being able to store up to roughly 20 tracks?

Evolution
Looks like the only difference between man and ape is technology...

Remember the time when you had to actually dial-up to connect to the internet and pay like 3 Ringgits per hour for it?

Remember the time when keeping in-touch meant calling someone maybe once or twice a month?

Remember the time when we read newspapers or magazines and played solitaire or minesweeper to keep ourselves occupied in the office?

Remember the time when we kept our thoughts to ourselves and wished others would understand us?

Remember the time when I was just a copywriter?

Some things evolve for the better, so have I to a certain extent. And I sure hope this is an evolution for the better as I have already stared death in its face… the slow death of aimless employment.

The result of this evolution? Only time will tell.

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The Sale Is On!

I’ve helped sell many things in my years as a copywriter; from loans and LCD TVs to toilet seats and trucks. Now, I am about to embark on the ‘sale’ of my life – myself.

I have recently liberated myself from the rat race and made the plunge into self-employment thanks to a couple of old friends; and now unofficial partners at 1am Studio. Not having a job is quite liberating but also comes with its own set of pressures; like having to market myself and the new business to potential clients.

The Office
The new minimalist digs; needs an un-minimalist chair though...

So forgive me if this blog seems a little self serving in future. After all, I got to get paid don’t I? And trust me, one of the hardest things for me to do is to write about myself.

Let’s hope this doesn’t turn out to be as bad as the work I did for the toilet seat guys.

P.S.    For some of you, this may be your first glance at my rants; enjoy and feel free to share your thoughts. Cheers!

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Who Needs a Creative Brief Anyway?

It turns out the thing we creatives think ought to be better written, is the very thing that’s limiting our creativity in the first place. Yup, creative briefs block creative thinking.

Creative briefs are written by brand or account managers; whom are both normally analytical, tactics-driven and strategically sound. These are a bunch of people who are left-brained if you will. Their objective is to manage a project to produce a desired result while being on time and on budget.

Now a recipient of a creative brief is usually a right-brained creative director, art director or copywriter; who some say is hard-wired to ignore a creative brief. It seems the tendency to disregard a brief is actually a natural reflex, and not an act of defiance as normally assumed.

Waste paper basket
Many a creative briefs have ended up here. Blame our right-sided brain for that!

Creatives are motivated by their craft and their need to excel in what they do. They also know other creatives are watching their work and that the next awards night is just around the corner. There is this need for a creative to justify his existence in the creative department, and to satisfy his toughest critic – himself.

A well-written creative brief then comes along to put a spanner in the works.

The fact of the matter is that most creative briefs are hardly creative. They’re full of dry data, assumptions, restrictions and guidelines; exactly the kind of thing that does not get creative juices flowing. The ‘better’ a brief is, the harder it becomes to translate it into a compelling, effective and engaging communication.

So allow me to apologize to all the suits that I’ve previously chided for not giving me a proper brief. It seems we never needed it in the first place.

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Google Should Be Banned…

As a creative research tool that is. In fact, Google should be banned for use when sourcing ideas, inspiration, insights, trends and pretty much everything else that have to do with creativity.

Being a copywriter, I am also very much dependent on Google for developing copy. Not because I want to but because I have to – sometimes too much for my own liking – as I commented on a previous post.

You see, the modus operandi of Google is very simple. It is basically a huge index of the entire world’s online information; a guide of sorts. That’s all well and fine, I mean I’m sure none of us can imagine a life without Google these days.

Ban google for creative research
Makes for a very 'ball'sy visual doesn't it? Errr... but Google, please don't sue me

Here’s the problem when doing creative research though. Google runs on a majority driven system, which means sites with high traffic almost always get higher page listings. A top search results page listing means that a particular site has been viewed by thousands if not millions of people.

So if you are suddenly inspired or found a great idea from a site that originated from the first page of your search result, potentially millions more could have been equally inspired too.

And how many times do we go past the first page of a search result these days. Almost never.

I’m sure Google research-inspired ideas will not cause creative stagnation because most of us creatives tend to emulate rather than imitate (I need to stress the emphasis on the word ‘most’ here). But then again, the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.

And if goo-plagiarism is allowed to continue then creative ideas the world over will tend to look or feel eerily similar. On second thought, the solution is rather simple; just navigate to the second or third page of your search result for a change.